Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Aku dan sujud terakhir


Once upon a time I had everything.. home, car , job, beautiful family, great kids , perfect husband.. I was the most happiest woman ever.. then one day in a split second everything I "own" had been taken away from me.. I lost my husband to blood cancer.. my car.. my home.. then I've became so depressed then I lost my job, my health, my hearing... practically almost everything.. then people are keeping their distance from me.. I was then diagnosed with SHL (sudden hearing lost) then Meniers Disease.. And just been diagnosed with BPPV Disease two weeks ago.. But Alhamdullilah I have my family and my loved ones who helped me get through the hardships..I struggled to raise all of my kids by myself.. 

I become more depressed and sick day by day.. and one day on my last sujood, a miracle happened to me.. I heard a whisper.. "bersangka baik dengan Allah" and i was so shocked and my whole body was shaking uncontrollably and I was crying.. it was a totally out of body experience for me.. i placed a du'a asking Allah to give me strength to move forward and recover from all these trials ... then I tried to finish my prayer.. and after that i keep on crying my eyes out.. still couldn't believe what just happened.. then I realized all this long I wasn't totally "REDHA" .. yesss my lips keep saying to everyone that i am but i dont really mean it.. 

on that day forward I learned that I have to totally be REDHA and keep on bersangka baik pada Allah.. and then the magic starts to happened.. im a lot stronger than before .. im moving forward.. event though I'm still having health issues but I trust that Allah have something big planned for me.. Alhamdullilah.. insyaallah something REALLY BIG is coming my way SOON .. And if it happens it will TOTALLY CHANGE MY LIFE..  

I believe it's the way Allah shows the love for the people who has "bersangka baik" dengannya.. keep in mind that everything we "own" is not really ours.. our home, our job, our kids, our wife or husband even our own life is not ours.. its all own by ALLAH swt.. and if you think you're in a big trouble please know that someone is in a bigger mess than you are in.. stop blaming people, blaming yourself or even blaming Allah swt for your hardships and starts to "bersangka baik" padanya .. Kerana Allah swt mengikut prasangka hamba Nya.. im not an "ustazah" , motivator or anything great.. im just an ordinary woman, a single mother to my four kids, FAT, half "pekak" , a very "sendu" script writer.. 

so why am I sharing all my story with you guys? Becoz i hope any of my friends who are having problems or dealing with any difficulties big or small.. "bersangka baik dengan Allah" insyaallah something BIG is coming your way too insyaallah If Allah swt wills it.. keep strong guys we can get through this.. I know we can!!!
Psssstt.. Sorry for my "lintang pukang" english hope u still can understand what I'm trying to share here..

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